In memory of George Carlin

[ADDICTED]

In memory of George Carlin.
>>
>> Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
>>
>> Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>>
>> Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>>
>> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>>
>> Why is abbreviated such a long word?
>>
>> Why is a boxing ring square?
>>
>> Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
>>
>> Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?
>>
>> Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
>>
>> Why is it that to stop Windows XL, you have to click on Start?
>>
>> Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,
>> you turn down the volume on the radio?
>>
>> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing
>> liquid made with real lemons?
>>
>> Why is the man who invests all your money called broker?
>>
>> Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
>>
>> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called
>> "rushhour"?
>>
>> Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
>>
>> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>>
>> If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty
>> litter?
>>
>> Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
>>
>> What do people in China call their good plates?
>>
>> What do you call a male ladybug?
>>
>> What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a
>> bald man?
>>
>> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>>
>> Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only 1 bra?
>>
>> Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>>
>> Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
>> you can't drink and drive?
>>
>> Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
>>
>> Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
>>
>> Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead
>> of
>> parachutes?
>>
>> Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking
>> is prohibited?
>>
>> Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
>>
>> How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
>>
>> If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days
>> a year, why does it have locks on the door?
>>
>> You know that indestructible black box that is used on
>> airplanes?
>> Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
>>
>> If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime,
>> what does a freedom fighter fight?
>>
>> If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby
>> oil?
>>
>> If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
>>
>> If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn
>> your headlights on, what happens?
>>
>> Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
>>
>> Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called
>> shipment,
>> but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
>>
>> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>>
>> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
>>
>> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite
>> of progress?
>>
>> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
>>
>>
>> THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES GEORGE.
>>